The Crescendo

What "Big Thing in History" is happening at the end of all this?

Jun 22, 2024

It’s hard not to feel like we are living in one of these. It’s a crescendo, a symbol in musical notation that indicates something is growing, getting louder. Activity in the world feels like it is taking this form. We do not know what will happen at the end. But it does not, however, feel like it’s leading somewhere great.

Every morning I check the news. It feels impossible to know what is truly going on anymore, because everyone’s always lying, but I do my best to check a thousand different sources, to understand everyone’s narrative if not to actually understand what is going on.

I can’t predict the future, and of course I could be wrong. But it feels like something is progressively building, like we are approaching the Big Thing in History That Happened.

What is the Big Thing? What is going to happen?

I have no idea. How can I? No one will tell me. Whenever anyone asks our politicians anything, the information they provide is just unnecessarily vague or unclear. They don’t actually answer anything in a way that is actually helpful for the average citizen.

When you’re living in a crescendo, though, you know something is coming even if no one tells you anything. It feels like there’s something on the horizon, just out of our periphery. Someone I know once described it as “living in the shadow of an object.” We don’t know what the object is, but we do know there is a shadow. You can’t hide a shadow, as you can recognize when you’re standing in darkness. Yet although I try to follow the shadow to where it leads, I cannot determine what the object actually is. Even if I squint or stand on my tiptoes for a better view, the object, this Big Thing in History, remains a mystery.

woman walking on white tiled flooring — Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

I don’t know what the Thing is. But the crescendo is growing, and it is leading somewhere.

It could just be what we already know: an official confirmation of war between BRICS and the West. There are Russian warships near Cuba, and Putin is doing his world tour, meeting with other non-Allied leaders in the East like North Korea and Vietnam. I am told their ships in Cuba are not a concern, like we’re supposed to believe Russia is just casually sailing around Cuba for fun or something.

But a build-up to war certainly feels like it is taking place. Countries like England, France, and Canada have been hinting around for absolutely ages that they are considering re-introducing my conscription. I am told it is “misinformation” that the US is actually going to change laws to automatically draft young people into their army. But at the same time, most countries in the West have sure been “debating” about it a lot, and Rishi Sunak in the UK is now stating his party would impose mandatory conscription after they previously said they wouldn’t. When asked about how the UK government would actually force people to go, Sunak threw out a few ideas such as “looking at [people’s] driver’s licenses” or restricting their access to bank accounts, which is not particularly encouraging:

On top of everything, there’s this ominous episode on CBC telling young Canadians that we should start drafting wills because we shouldn’t be making assumptions that we’re not going to die anytime soon. Wow, great. Do they mean that they expect us to be dying in Ukraine? If they are, I would like them to confirm that this is what they mean instead of hinting around about it. I’d like them to say it, so that we can politely decline and they can refocus on other things, like the fact that a full quarter of Canadians are now living in poverty and don’t have any money to leave anyone anyway.

Speaking of, is the Big Thing in History That Happened a financial collapse? People who know more about finances than me are freaking out about the end of a petrodollar agreement between the United States and Saudi Arabia. Other sources insist that this is again wrong and “misinformation,” and anyone who says otherwise is only reflecting reality like “fragments of broken mirrors.” I’m not going to talk out of my ass about finances here because I frankly don’t know anything about finances, but again this messaging is confusing, and I do not feel close to the truth, just aware of different messaging. I’m not any closer to what is on the horizon. But at the same time, I’ve sure been hearing a lot about economic people feeling nervous this year, and billionaires getting rid of a lot of big stocks. Tons of industries are also experiencing mass layoffs, but again, I don’t know if a major depression will be the Big Thing in History.

a close up of a book with musical notes — Photo by Karen Chew on Unsplash

Living in a crescendo is stressful. We can feel negativity increasing, but we have no choice but to wait and see where it ends. We’re not going to know what is going to happen until it happens.

In cognitive behavioral therapy, waiting for something bad to happen that may never happen is considered a cognitive distortion. It’s a symptom of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. You’re supposed to ask, how realistic is it that this bad thing is actually going to happen? This is supposed to lead you to identifying that you are safe, and that everything is most likely fine and you are catastrophizing or being paranoid.

But how else can I interpret this crescendo? It does feel like something big and negative is likely to happen soon. We’ve seen one event after another, with increasing tension and proximity to one another. The panicked tone of Western politicians and a more urgent and aggressive tone to the way journalists question them. The war in Ukraine, the genocide in Gaza. Crocus City Hall, and increased nuclear tension. Mass layoffs, and vague “foreign interference” news in Canada. The attack on the Slovakian PM. The death of the Iranian president. Lebanon and Israel approaching war. Now ships in Cuba, and the approach of the American election, which none of us expect to be a calm, tranquil experience.

It’s just one thing after another, and there’s no reason to believe it’s going to stop.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe everything will be fine, and nothing is going to happen. But I would be hugely surprised if there was not a Big Thing in History at the end of all of this. Something is certainly increasing.

Maybe it’s wrong to be so alarmist. But I’m standing in the shadow of an object. I both dread the end, and want confirmation of where it leads.

Thank you for reading. I write new essays every week. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider subscribing to my newsletter.

Articles and Writers I’ve Been Reading on Substack: